The Merry Shopping Season

    

      We eat ourselves into a coma gorging on as much food as we can stuff in our bellies on Thanksgiving and then rush out before dawn and try to stuff our shopping carts with more stuff... Stuff, stuff, stuff... Are we happier after all that food? Does the rush to consume make us feel whole and satisfied?

     T'is the season to be jolly - and what exactly is it that makes us happy? Often we revert to the "shoulds" and "have to's" at this time of year. We rush around because we have to "get everything done".
Christmas and the Holiday Season - what does it really mean to you?

     I encourage you to make a list of what means the most to you at this time of year. What are your favorite memories of all time? What went into those memories? Was it stuff or was it people? Was it donating time in a soup kitchen and seeing the thankful faces that brought the most joy - or was  buying gifts for others? Was it receiving gifts? Was it thinking up thoughtful gifts from the heart or was it stampeding to get the best and cheapest deal of the year? Was it making decorations with others, or was it hearing all the compliments from others? Was it doing the complimenting that felt the best? What was it? It might be eye-opening to also sit down with your family and make a list of such favorite moments together. What is important to them? What is it that makes you all feel special at this time of year?

     Whatever has been the most meaningful for you and your family could lead you around the "shoulds" and the "have-to's". If you and your family love giving and receiving presents - great! Make that the most meaningful and joyous event possible. How can you increase the enjoyment? How can you make "games" or "rituals" that prolong the unwrapping and helps everybody delight in others' presents as well as their own? Or how can you celebrate the love expressed in each gift? How can togetherness around playing with a toy, lighting candles, watching a movie or reading aloud be incorporated? What might be a new special thing to do together?

     Maybe we sometimes think that we can buy, bake, eat, or decorate ourselves happy. And maybe that is part of the equation. There might be amazing joy to be found also in just being with others. Truly appreciating them. Giving them the gift of your undivided attention. Whether that person is in a homeless shelter or it is your spouse, child, mother or friend!
     What would it take for you to get through this season joyfully and feeling alive rather than being weighed down by it and feeling "put upon"?

     Here's to a Merry Conscious and Aware Holiday Season!

E-mail by Invitation Only

    

      Lately I have been traveling a lot. As I am using a tablet PC for my travels, I often do not empty my e-mail account for the duration of my travel. And so within a couple of days it reaches its limit! Every company, every campaign, every charity, every travel organization, every cause and every entertainment outlet I have ever been in contact with has automatically added me to their e-mail blast lists. And it finally reached unbearable proportions. I was drowing in requests for my participation! I was suffocating in attempts to get my attention. My e-mail inbox was shouting at me with requests: Sign this petition, buy this product, eat this and thrive, etc. And I do have overactive spam filters and still I was barraged!

     It struck me that this is a perfect analogy of the information-rich reality we live in. We have every opportunity for being of service (or being serviced) every second of every day! And I realized that even when I quickly deleted the e-mails, their messages somehow penetrated my defenses and made me have thoughts along the lines of:  "Well, I could do that - or I should do this...or maybe I ought to buy this or do this?" In other words this onslaught of requests was little by little draining my energy and taking some time out of every day to:

1. Erase dozens of e-mails
2. Dealing with not doing or actually doing what they were asking of me.

     I felt powerless over the e-mail monster that had taken occupancy in my inbox! It was zapping certain amounts of energy of me every day!

     So today I have systematically opened each bulk e-mail that came to me and whether it is a cause dear to my heart or not, I have scrolled down to the bottom of the e-mail and found the little blurry link that says: Click here to unsubscribe..  And I have!

     From now on I feel in charge of what cause I support or what product I want to buy and when! I am in control over which e-mail I allow into my inbox! Just as I live in charge of who I let into my house, my life and my friendship circle - now my e-mail inbox is by invitation only!!! And it feels great! I recommend it wholeheartedly!!!

   

    

    

Are you Living Large?

    

 I get a lot of questions about the name of my blog and my business: Larger Than Life.... And yes, really that is what so much of our time here on earth is about - living as large, living as fully as at all possible.

 
To live large can be to live in a way that allows us to connect to all aspects of our being. Our intellect, our spirituality, our emotions and our body.  All aspects of us work together in a conscious way to maximize precisely the kind of results we want. It is not about "having" or "doing"... it is about "being"!

     Many of us get "stuck" in one or several of  aspects of ourself, and have a hard time integrating all we are into the equation. This is often founded in a need to judge. We judge ourselves - and then start judging others.

     A fundamental change happens when we become more aware of our own need to judge. We discover that many times our need to judge are really because we are limiting ourselves. So as we become conscious, in just this one area of our lives, we discover that some of our judgment is a direct result of stuff we really wanted to have/do/say ourselves but we at some point stopped ourselves from having. We think along the lines of:

"No that is not for me."
"No, I can't say/do/feel like her or him."
"That is for others to do."
"I could NEVER do that"

     We live in a state of "wanting it" but at the same time prohibit ourselves from "getting it". And then we start projecting our own state of "lacking it" onto others and judge them for "having it!"

     As we discover our own need to judge others, we are often surprised to find how much of this need is founded in a limiting belief that we have to keep ourselves from being who we really are! We are not talking envy here! No, this is how we systematically play small and project our need for greatness onto others, because we believe we are not "all that!"

     So how can you live a little larger today?
     Enjoy the journey!
    
    

Shift Happens!

     Sometimes it happens! We are all set to embrace a certain direction in our life and then it happens: BLAM!!! A door shuts right in our face as we were ready to walk through it!

  .... Shift happens!

     So what to do? We can cry and wail. We can stare ourselves blind on the door that closed. We can look at it until we are blue in the face and completely drained of our life force. We can view ourselves as victims, who were "put upon" by a cruel fate. This is a pessimistic reaction.

     You might know that the difference between an optimist and a pessimist is not their assessment of the facts? It is that the optimist sees and creates an action plan where the pessimist sees him or herself without options for action.

     An optimist chooses to respond to the situation. "I cannot control what happens to me, but I can control how I choose to respond!"

     Next time a door slams in your face, after you deal with the immediate surprise or shock, you can choose to look around. You can choose not to just focus on what is no longer possible!

      It is true that every time access is closed in one direction, ten other options might be ready to open. But you have to not stare yourself blind on the one that is no more! Instead look around and see what light might be ready to stream in through the windows, if you just lift the curtains.

     By choosing to respond like this you discover that there are other doors, other opportunities for you to explore. And yes indeed, they might be leading to paths you never even dreamed of!

     Here's to an empowered, optimistic day!

Are you a Professional Energy Waster?

     So many of us do  it... We walk around unconsciously wasting our time and energy on things we don't even want to do. We live in the world of "have to". We plug away working ever harder, and it seems we get less and less done.

     When we live life in a state of not being aware, we spread ourselves thin. We work ourselves to the bone. We get exhausted. This is what happens when our energy is caught up in what Andrew Harvey calls our "Universal ADD." We are busy with a million things and thoughts all at once, yet feel we do none of it well. We are inundated with input all day long, and still at the end of the day have a sense that we didn't really complete any of it well, or that what we did was not really satisfying.

     Yet, when we are conscious and deliberate, we discover that we are in control and we focus and concentrate much better. We choose our actions. We focus our energy with clarity. We concentrate on each moment with clear presence of mind. This is where we enter the world of "want to". We enjoy the smile from our co-worker (we are actually able to observe it,) we taste the sweetness of each moment no matter what we are doing.

     So what is the difference? It is simply being aware that what you are doing is a choice. It is what you choose to do in this very moment! This means that you are being conscious; it is a deliberate commitment you are making!

     In reality this is what this everyday kind of consciousness feels like:

      If you have a cup of coffee, enjoy it! If you are at your desk working - set mini goals and timelines for yourself and pat yourself on the back when you accomplish each one. If you do stuff you "have to do" - do it with a focus of what the task will mean to you. What will be the outcome of this task for you? How will you feel when you have done it successfully?

     Have a deliberate, energetic and aware day!

    

What is Life Coaching?

Often we have no clue what we really want!

We just sense that our wheels are spinning, and we also are aware that we are not really "getting anywhere." We seem to use a good deal of effort, yet we get pennies on the dollar with regards to return on our "energy investment."We might feel exhausted and a large part of our energy appears to be wasted. We do not get the results we want. We find ourselves easily frustrated, angered or saddened. We might feel out of control, depressed or anxious!

Life is not a spectator sport, yet we might feel that we are sitting in the bleachers watching other people play the game, while we are wasting all our time and energy simply cheering or jeering. "Life is hard," we say and shrug our shoulders!

                                  Yet, it doesn't have to be that way!

Coaching can help you to connect those spinning wheels to the track!

And what happens? Well, you start moving in the direction of your choosing! You are no longer merely watching the game being played, you are playing it! You discover that just like an athlete you can train your success muscles and experience them grow and become increasingly adept at handling every activity you choose to participate in! You realize that winning or losing is not what truly matters – all that matters is that you play! And that you learn to focus your energy to work for exactly what you want, rather than wasting it on what you really do not want. Now you also discover that you can be infinitely more efficient and loving towards other people in your life.

It is not just you that benefits! It is everybody around you!

Larger than Life Coaching takes people from merely "ok" to optimal! We help our clients to connect to their passion in new ways. Clients discover their innate power. Not power over others, but power to be who they truly are! This is where those spinning wheels get traction! And it gets exciting to see what happens! As a train or a stage coach moves from station to station, you build on success after success.

You discover that not only do you have all it takes for you to live the life you want, everything you have ever experienced has given you exactly the tools you need to achieve it!

Visit my Website to read more and feel free to e-mail me with any questions you have.

 

On Rapture, Fear, Love and Laughter

Walking down the street of my little town by the beach today I found on the sidewalk a set of men’s clothing complete with crushed energy drink can and a set of woman’s clothes inclusive of purse and hat “left behind”. Someone had made a little display of what the Rapture might look like for the rest of us (thinking the Rapture in the realms beyond must be one big nudist camp as I am trying to visualize this…).


The End of Times has been scheduled by the Kansas City minister Harold Camping (who is still taking donations…) for 6PM CST today! This is, according to Camping, 7000 years to the minute after Noah’s flood. You can buy a t-shirt from Camping stating that you are “Rapture Ready” – and people have set up pet care for the creatures whose owners will be off skyward later today! (I guess the pets are not expected to have professed their faith adequately).

This is quite amusing – I have to say. I am enjoying the many creative postings on facebook as my friends are mockingly saying goodbye and reveling in the ridiculousness of it all.

And then there is a side of me that finds this preoccupation with the end of all things troubling. There are many versions of doomsday believers out there. Camping is an easily dismissed version, but more sophisticated versions abound. Dispensationalist and Eschatological theories have always been plentiful; the “Left Behind” series that soared to the top of Best Seller lists. And they all manipulate deeply with the human psyche and ratchet up the fear motive again and again: If you do this, say this, believe this and most importantly don’t do this you will be one of the chosen ones, when the end comes. There are versions of this also in the environmental movement, where people believe that the earth is actually a vengeful entity, whose wrath has been stirred up by our environmental abuses to the point it will throw us humans off and the current climate changes are part of such retribution. Here the message is that if we do not quickly enough replace our light bulbs, we will perish as a species due to our transgressions against nature.

Whether I am a Christian or an environmentalist (yes in both cases) I must say that the fear-based motive to move people to action (or reaction) in my view is both misplaced and deplorable. It is to use fear as a manipulative tool to further your agenda. And often actions founded and carried out in fear are blind, dumb, misplaced and desperate.

We as human beings tend to create the kind of reality we are looking to find. If we are walking around paralyzed by fear, we will see threats and imminent manifestations of our worst nightmares everywhere (the war in Iraq is one such prime example).

So what might be another option for expression? Christianity is all about love; as is every religion at its core. The environmental movement is about joy of nature including our own. How would a message of love manifest and be able to inspire us going forward? How about an invitation to a new and more meaningful lifestyle that incorporates care and concern for the least among us, love for our neighbors and ourselves, as well as care for the planet that feeds us? How would a new and stimulating environmental focus look that makes it clear that doing our part for the environment is a joyful exercise in community building and strengthened connections? A new sense of abundance?

As I continue down Main Street someone has left a pair of shoes with dry ice in them. The shoes are smoking as the imaginary person blew out of there to the Eternal Realms. A group of people are standing around laughing and taking pictures. And it strikes me that right there I am watching a fearful agenda being creatively transformed into a communal experience of laughter and sharing right in front of my eyes! Yes indeed, there is hope for humankind!